Tired of being a safe distance from deadly animals? We get it. Snuggles is Young Lil’s full time blunt roller and best pal. He’s loads of fun to hang with - especially at slumber parties. Just don’t fall asleep first cuz he’s quite the little prankster. Just don’t mention his brother, Cuddles, or you’ll end up like the last guy: murdered. So take Snuggles home for 5 minutes today!
Price: $5.95. S&H: $7,000,000,003
Your best isn’t good enough. It never has been. It never will be. That’s why there’s incredibly talented R&B Sensations like Indian Summer to be in bed with you every step of the way, coaching, encouraging, whispering, and kissing you to success street. From its supple red velour textures to its built-in TV featuring Indian Summer watching you struggle to have sex, this Thrust Throne is a must have for any aspiring singer songwriters. So go ahead and bone, cuz Indian’s at Home.
Price: Don’t even worry about it. S&H: He’ll bring it by
“I can’t find a place to park anywhere!” “That jerk just too my spot!” “I love coke so much it has changed the course of my life!” If all of these sound familiar to you, then put on your blinker and pull into this game changer: a driveway wherever you want it. Here’s how to works: First, you look for a parking spot. Then, if you don’t see one immediately, give up and just drive through the nearest wall. It’s that easy. Make parking and structural integrity your bitch, with the Young Lil Endorsed: Driveways Wherever Motherfucker Kit. Includes 8 kilos of white to help you flee the scene.
Price: GNP of Ghana
Making friends can be hard. People are mean and judgemental. Sometimes your best just isn’t good enough for anyone. Well, think again. There’s no one more accepting and friendly than a White Reggae friend. He takes the friendly, warm, and ever-toasted vibes of reggae culture and combines it with the vulnerability and identity issues that only a dreadlocked white kid can provide. So go ahead, turn off the shower, start manually twisting your hair in class, and forget basic etiquette ingrained since your stable youth. It’s time for friendship with Along De Coast.
Price: A Long board S&H: His Dad’s Jag